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Fear is the natural response to perceived threat. It can protect us from danger. But fear also can stop us from achieving our goals and living our lives to the fullest. Facing something you fear is not only an act of courage but also an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.
Fear is the natural response to perceived threat. It can protect us from danger. But fear also can stop us from achieving our goals and living our lives to the fullest. Facing something you fear is not only an act of courage but also an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.
The perceived threat can be either physical or psychological. Threats activate our sympathetic nervous system and triggers a fight-or-flight response preparing us to either fight or run away from the danger.
In the fight or flight response, stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol flood our brain and body. Our heart rate increases, our attention becomes super-focused on the threat and blood is diverted from out digestive system to our muscles. This response made a lot of sense when our forebearers were confronting a tiger or a grizzly bear. And it works if we are called on to perform in an emergency like lifting a fallen tree from a child.
This response doesn’t work well when we are confronting most of the challenges that we face in the 21st century. Most of these challenges are psychological. They might be giving a presentation, talking to a stranger or asking our boss for a raise. Or they could be an irrational fear of germs, or fear of dogs.
Fear also teaches us to avoid the situation. Again, if bears or tigers hung around a certain place, it made sense for our ancestors to avoid those places.
People fear various things, ranging from heights and public speaking to failure and rejection. These fears can manifest in different ways, such as avoiding certain situations, experiencing anxiety, or having physical symptoms like sweating and a racing heart. Fear limits our potential, hinders our personal and professional growth, and affects our mental health. If we experience fear, we will restrict what we do. Fear makes our lives smaller and smaller.
Confronting fear is important for several reasons. First, it allows us to expand our comfort zones and discover new opportunities. When we avoid what we fear, we reinforce the idea that the feared object or situation is dangerous. This makes the fear stronger over time. By facing fear, we can challenge these beliefs and reduce the power that fear holds over us.
Second, overcoming fear fosters resilience and confidence. Confront a fear, and you will build your ability to overcome fear and develop a sense of accomplishment. This resilience helps in facing future fears.
Facing fear should be a gradual process, and it requires patience and perseverance. Here are some steps to help you confront and overcome your fears:
1. Understand your fear: Reflect on why it affects you so strongly. Identify specific situations that caused it. Understanding the cause can reduce its power over you. Don’t wait till you fully understand your fear to face it. Understanding is helpful but it can be used to avoid confronting what we fear.
2. Take small steps: Gradual exposure to the feared situation will lessen your fear. Start small and increase exposure as you grow more comfortable.
- For example, if you fear giving a presentation, start small by doing a short presentation alone or to one or two friends. Then to a small group and then to the full group. You can repeat each step until it is tolerable.
- Another example might be if you are afraid of being in a social situation and speaking to strangers, start with saying “Hello, nice day.” to someone you pass on your street. Move to saying a bit more at the bus stop. Then find a small gathering and strike up a conversation with someone and then gradually increase the size of the gathering you go to.
- If you are trying something, don’t leave the situation till your anxiety goes down. If you leave when your anxiety is high, you are encouraging yourself to escape from anxious situations.
3. Celebrate progress: Acknowledge and celebrate achievements, no matter how small. This boosts confidence and motivates you to continue.
Learning coping skills may help. For example:
1. Challenge negative thoughts, such as “I can’t do this.” “Dogs are dangerous.” Or “People will think I am an idiot.” Fear thrives on irrational thoughts. Question their validity and replace them with realistic, positive ones such as “I can learn how to do this.” “Dogs are safe but I can be cautious.”; “I have something to say.” “I am quite sensible.”
2. Seek support: Don't face fear alone. Get support from friends, family, or a therapist.
3. Practice relaxation: Try deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness.
It is important to use coping as a tool, not to avoid confronting fear. Don’t wait until you are perfectly calm to face your fear. You can face your fear when you are anxious.
Facing fear is a deeply personal journey, and everyone experiences it differently. Many of my patients have had the courage to face their fears. Alison, aged 29, had a severe fear of speaking up in public. She was reluctant to say anything in front of anyone who wasn’t a close friend and then only if there were only a few people present. This fear interfered with her job and prompted her to avoid many social situations. She became quite afraid of having any symptoms of fear such as an increased heart rate or even a bit of dizziness. Starting with small steps, she practiced speaking in front of friends and gradually faced larger groups. She ran up stairs and purposely spun in her chair to get herself used to increased heart rate and a bit of dizziness. She stopped being afraid of an increased heart rate or dizziness. Now she speaks in public with only a little fear, opening up professional and social opportunities.
John had a fear of germs, limiting his ability to visit friends or new places. He learned what was safe, started with small actions, like washing things only once, and gradually faced more difficult challenges like visiting friends without cleaning everything with a wipe. Overcoming this fear gave him a sense of freedom and the ability to explore the world.
Facing your fears is not easy, but understanding and confronting them can help you break free and reach your potential. Courage is not the absence of fear but acting despite it. Embrace your fears to find your inner strength.
Just One Small Thing for Your Mental Health is a series of insightful blog posts by Dr. Patrick McGrath, a seasoned clinical psychologist at CMAP Health. With a wealth of experience treating both children and adults, Prof. McGrath is a highly regarded clinical researcher and mental health expert. Recognized for his groundbreaking work, he has been honored with the prestigious Order of Canada and numerous awards for his leadership, innovation, and research contributions.
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